Am I trying to find myself or erase myself. My eyes are sailing wondering what everyone thinks of me, it’s vines wrapping around my comfort. What is there thoughts, their opinions, their type, their dislikes and likes towards me. Am I good enough, am I invisible, how do I appear to them, how do I make them feel. My mind puddy with torment, I really want to know what he’s thinking. Am I young enough, am I pretty enough, am I sexy enough, am I more than a rental, am I authentic, are my flaws too obvious, are my breasts too small, is my ass not big enough, am I too pale, should I put on more makeup, am I too sad, can he see my scars in the dark, do they glow like the feelings I have for you. Does anyone feel suffocated, more comfortable in a dark room alone, think about ending it all, feel a force by the demons to drown in alcohol and smother with the pillows and covers. Are my dreams real, can I hold my purposes hand, can I achieve everything I vision, can I walk through the fire of fear, can I find the confidence even if I wasn’t born with it, can I stop listening to the those trying to drag me down, can I fight any longer. Can I see positivity because it all looks like blood, can I block out the greed, hate and unmotivation on the TV screen. Can I turn off the trend and what social media tells me I have to do to not fail as a woman. Tell me do I have to dress up, cake on makeup, tan myself, install a push up bra, starve myself, workout till I pass out, shave my body, oil my skin, dye my hair, perfume this soul, be a goddess, be seductive, be high maintenance, relinquish my identity or can I be myself. Sometimes I really want to know what you thinking, is it the same thing that is on mine, dark thoughts but happiness when we collide.